Lovetastic: dating for gay men who believe in love

Hi Guys! I hate writing these things - how do you convey who you are without sounding canned, and how to you make your desires more interesting than a laundry list? To a certain extent I suppose, most of us are looking for guys with certain basic qualities -- a conscience, sincerity, a path of accomplishments and goals, yada, yada, yada. That's the stuff that a lot of people fake, and it can take time to see through it. That's why I favor relationships that evolve out of friendships. I won't just jump out of my pants into a premature commitment. I'm not commitment-shy, just careful. I'm attracted to guys who have an up-beat personality and an off-beat sense of humor. Life without a sense of curiosity would be dull - I want someone with whom I can explore, and who has the creative spark to turn explorations into something new. My ideal partner is someone who always agrees with me. JUST KIDDING! Adaptability is a plus, but a doormat deserves to be walked on. Preachers can look for someone else to convert. I believe that details reflect basic traits...when someone takes care of himself it means he values what he can give of himself. So, be fastidious (or at least make an effort). Of course one must draw a line somewhere: probably between starching your shirts and creasing your jeans. I know it's asking a lot, but I guess the bottom line is that I want to be in love with someone who can inspire me to be my best.
SO -- Enough about YOU. Now let's talk about ME!!! Well, "Bi-Coastal" means I live in L.A. but was born in NYC and lived most of my childhood in the Northeast, all my relatives are back there, and would definitely consider going back to NYC. "Nonconformist" is probably why I'm prospecting on-line. If I'd always lived in gay ghettos, gone to circuit parties, tweaked, etc., I probably wouldn't be single now. But then, I might not be any better off....but that's water under the bridge.
I've been in the L.A. area since 1986. I moved here from Seattle for work, which I generally like very much despite the Dilbert moments. It's flexible, I have a lot of autonomy, it provides an outlet for intellectual creativity, and I get good vacations.
Generally, I've been spending vacations in Europe though as I write this (Feb. 2008) this year's plans are still under negotiation with potential travel companions from New York. I've also been to quite a few places in Asia and Africa, but that was a long time ago. (Countries I'd especially like to return to are South Africa and Japan.) Usually I spend most of my time in major cities, for the art museums, the trends, and the eye candy...though if I have to choose between being in a backroom at 4AM or a museum the next morning, I more often than not take the museum. But I also like getting out into the country - hiking the Cinque Terre or chilling on Santorini I'd repeat in an instant.
I'm interested in the decorative arts - especially furniture and ceramics - and am active in a couple of organizations along those lines (currently president of one, and 1st VP of another). In Vienna a couple of years ago, the highlights for me were the Imperial furniture warehouse and the Wiener Werkstatte exhibitions.
Although I live in the Pasadena area, my gay social life revolves around Silver Lake. Most of my gay friends stem from the gym, but don't get the idea I'm much of a hunk. My Pasadena friends are mostly straight, but they're very interesting. Although it wasn't a conscious consideration, in retrospect I think I settled in the Pasadena area because it's the closest L.A. comes to an East-coast feel.
While I've accomplished a fair amount, I still have dreams. Isn't that the difference between youth and old-age (or should I say, "obsolescence") -- still having dreams?
'Nuff sed...your turn. Take care... --Bob

How timely...I like both Hillary and Obama. If you make me choose, at the moment I'd pick Hillary. Off subject..in the House, I think Nancy Pelosi ROCKS!!

Live and let live.

My parents guided me the most, but the most profound relationship was with my twin brother. No, we can't do twin tricks.

My Mum died a little over a year ago, and I miss her a lot. She lived on the East Coast and I could only visit a few times a year, so I guess part of what I miss is the lost opportunity of seeing her more. She'd had a stroke 6 years earlier; even though it was a huge effort for her, she managed to write and call regularly. When we were kids, her approach to discipline was to go on tirades of screaming at us. (I don't think we were THAT bad!) But she mellowed after we left home, and she treated us friends as much as her offspring. I got along with Mum a HELL of a lot better than my sister did, but that's another story...!!

Beach. How can you appreciate the eye candy under a down parka? I used to ski, before a knee accident. Even though the sensation of descent was a rush, I never liked being cold. However...I can deal with being bundled up in a cashmere coat on Park Avenue....

It depends. Dark stubble lights my fire. Grrrr. Clean shaven is fine, but I might hide your razor for a couple of days. Beards are fine; trimmed, yes, Santa Claus, no.

You BET!

Wow! Yes, I guess I think there might be such a thing as a soul...and when else would it enter the body?? How do I square that with supporting a woman's right to choose? I don't insist that my conjecture represents the truth..maybe it only represents a human fraility of searching for meaning. I can't require that a woman should have the same beliefs as I; These should be questions of a person's relationship with whatever higher authority (if any) they believe in, not their relationship with secular lawmakers.

My impulse is to go with paper. Maybe the net cost to the environment of producing and disposing of paper is greater than plastic, but I doubt it. In Ireland they've started taxing plastic bags, and people are switching to cloth. I bet that's better than either paper or plastic.

No, I love mystery. The unseen is a fantasy. Darkness stirs the senses. However...a dark dreary winter day?? -- I'd rather be in Puerto Rico....

One of my all-time favorites is A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole - it made me spit with laughter. Hollywood has been tussling over the rights for years; it has the potential to be a real classic if they ever get their act together. Lately I've been reading memoirs of members of the tight-knit community of Jewish South African anti-apartheid activists (which included the parents of one of my best friends) and the letters and diaries of British literary figures from the early-to-mid 20th century. Lots of closet-cases and biting comment. The new volume of Noel Coward's letters is next on my agenda.

I go on listening binges. My most recent discovery is Max Raabe and the Palast Orchester; I've been playing their cd's constantly. His covers of Sex Bomb, Supreme, Lady Marmalade, and more, are masterful. Somehow he makes his voice sound like he wants to be sucking on your toes. Other current favorites: Caetano Veloso, electronic tango, Lakme.
And how could I forget....SHOW TUNES?? The cd "A Bag of Popcorn and a Dream" resurrects forgotten show tunes by Robert Wright & George Forrest. Great tunes and naughty lyrics. It's a gem.
...not to mention bluesy rock, or is it rocking blues? Jazz standards, especially the French version - Charles Trenet.

An all time favorite is The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. Maggie Smith was great. usually I prefer novels to movies made from them, but in this case, I think the movie one-upped Muriel Spark.
Another all time fave is The Lives of Others. And Daniel Craig as James Bond...sooo hot!

escapism:
Caper flicks -- cat burglars on the Riviera. Casablanca. Merchant Ivory. French comedies with Jean Reno -- a butch Peter Sellers. Sophomoric comedies e.g. Adam Sandler. Love stories that make me cry.

When I photograph my favorite paintings at museums, the pictures reveal an appreciation of eye candy. Handsome Dukes, hunky Vulcans, Rubens's muscular men vainly fighting damnation, etc. I guess I'm most consistently drawn to 17th century Dutch paintings for the treatment of light, the domestic scenes (whenever I have a chance to see a Vermeer, I grab it) the still-lifes, the drunken peasants passed out in snow banks, etc...
MichelAngelo, Bernini: muscles and flesh in stone.
Modern: Renoir, is my favorite of the Impressionists though others are wonderful too. I like Picasso, Leger, and Dufy (both Raoul & Jean) Chagall, Matisse. California plein air painters, including some currently working like Ebrahim Amin and Birgitta Kappe whom I discovered last year at the Laguna Beach arts festivals. Have to plug my friend Glenys Barton, the British sculptor who had the good fortune of having Daniel Craig (drool) sit before her for hours as she created his ceramic portrait bust for the film Enduring Love. (I'd have asked him to stand for a full-length treatment.) GB has works in major Museums, including the British National Portrait Gallery and the Scottish National Portrait Gallery. I like Biedermeier, Art Deco, and mid-Century Modern furniture and decorative arts.

Inclusiveness -- tribalism is one of our greatest threats.
Forgiveness -- Nelson Mandela is one of my heroes.

English ceramics
Gardens - I especially like succulents
Cooking - I make a mean Sambhar. Currently at the forefront of my repertoire: lamb meatballs in ouzo sauce; asparagus, mushrooms & pasta in a truffle cream sauce... Can you stay for dinner?
Entertaining - I always try to have at least a couple of new faces at parties.
Interior design / house projects
Conversation
Reading
Ballet / modern dance (watching, not doing!)